Why Тravel Flings Often Remain Hidden From the Rest of Your Social Circle

Key takeaways:

• People are aware their time together is limited.

• Emotional distance makes the fling feel insignificant.

• You might want to avoid judgment.

• Less outgoing individuals value privacy.

Travel flings often last for the duration of a trip

According to a 2023 survey, 12% of Americans have had a fling with someone on vacation. The most popular setting is a seaside resort. Almost a third of Americans find beachside vacations the most romantic.

However, travel flings are often short-lived. Both people involved may be aware that their time together is limited, so there’s an unspoken understanding that the relationship isn’t meant to last. People might not feel the need to share or publicize these experiences because they see them as fleeting.

They happen in a detached environment

Travel flings often happen in a carefree setting, where the experience is usually more about living in the moment and enjoying the excitement of being in a new place.

This emotional distance can make individuals feel like the relationship isn’t significant enough to be shared or documented.

Emotional distancing has become more pronounced since the pandemic. Researchers surveyed 707 college students between 18 and 22 about whether and how their relationships changed at the beginning of the pandemic. 69% reported relationship changes, of whom 77% described feeling disconnected and generally having less contact.

Some people value privacy more than others

Some people value privacy in their personal lives and prefer secret relationships for this reason. They want to keep intimate details private, especially when it comes to casual or transient relationships. They may not feel the need to disclose these details to friends or family because it’s a private experience that doesn’t necessarily have long-term significance. In the age of social media, where many aspects of life are shared publicly, some prefer to keep experiences like travel flings out of the public eye.

Privacy entails intentional withdrawal from society, and people who are more reserved, less sociable, or shyer tend to have a greater need for it. Empirical studies support this assumption. People who score higher on extraversion and openness to experience desire less privacy.

Avoiding judgment

Decades of research in behavioral science and psychology reveal that people are quick to make snap judgments on a variety of occasions. It takes people milliseconds to form lasting impressions of others. Judgments made without a time constraint correlated highly with judgments after a 100-ms exposure, indicating that the latter exposure time was sufficient for study participants to form an impression.

If it takes so little time to form judgments, it’s no wonder people choose to keep travel flings hidden. They can be viewed as casual, and individuals might worry about how they will be perceived for giving in to the temptation of a brief romantic encounter. They may not want others to think they are irresponsible or impulsive, especially if casual relationships aren’t typical of their usual behavior.

Travel is a time of escape

For some, a travel fling is an opportunity to experience romance without the usual expectations or consequences.

By keeping the fling private, they can preserve that sense of freedom and maintain the separation between their travel experiences and their everyday life when they return home.

A recent survey sheds light on the feeling of freedom traveling can encourage. 74% of respondents traveled solo because they didn’t want to wait for others. 73% wanted to travel alone, compared to 50% who preferred group tours. 63% of travelers said they wanted to do what they wanted when they wanted.

FAQs

Can keeping travel flings hidden protect you from emotional pain?

Travel flings are temporary, and talking about them or reflecting on them too much can lead to emotional pain. People may hide or downplay their travel romances to protect themselves from feeling regret or sadness once the relationship ends. The more public or “real” a fling becomes, the harder it might be to let go once it’s over.

Does nostalgia play a role in hiding travel flings?

For some, travel flings represent a moment filled with adventure, new experiences, and romantic excitement. Publicizing the fling could bring back memories of the trip and create a sense of longing or loss.