Taking part in St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans: Absinthe! Pub crawls! Vivid green floppy top hats!

If you’re wondering why you’re seeing a few green flags today, or indeed a giant green hat sitting on top of the occasional larrikin’s head, it’s because it is St Patrick’s Day – the cultural and religious (well, once was) celebration that recognises the day of the passing of Saint Patrick, foremost patron saint of Ireland.

Far be it for us not to get into some good, practical, religious – and perhaps not so religious – rituals, so here are some suggestions of how you can celebrate:

(01) Go hard on anything you might have given up for Lent

Christians celebrate this day simply for the fact that Lenten restrictions on eating and drinking alcohol are lifted – which is probably the reason all pubs are jam-packed on St. Patrick’s Day. But if you’re choosing to celebrate at home…

(02) Try the new Summer Apple flavour Vodka Cruiser – even if summer’s wound up!

Go a bit Charli XCX and be a bit of a brat. Even if summer’s all wound up, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a voddie with a hint of summer. Vodka Cruiser aren’t ready to say goodbye to the hot season just yet, with the release of their Summer Apple flavour, a tongue-in-cheek way to help us hold onto the silly season for just a little longer. And, heck, who knew St. Paddy’s Day would roll around so quickly? To the good ready-mixed drink, there’s the definitive taste of bold sweet apple, blended with premium triple-distilled vodka for a true flavour explosion. Best enjoyed straight from the bottle or over ice. And available in four-pack RRP $25.00 from the trusty likes of Dan Murphy’s and BWS.

(03) Put a little green colouring in your alternative bevvy

It’s totally superficial yes, and your beer might look as though it’s been tainted by nuclear waste, but it does keep in the spirit of the day’s theme, and yes, your drink should remain the same taste. If you’re not into drinking green beer (or a drop of absinthe for that matter) you could go for some good ol’ Irish Whiskey.

Absinthe as an alternative to green-dyed beer… Careful, though, this stuff can make you wacko!

(04) Pop on a copy of Charli XCX’s brat (and it’s completely different but also still brat)

Preferably on green vinyl. Play it all day long. Drive your neighbours mad.

(05) Avoid saying things like “luck o’ the Irish” and “to be sure, to be sure”

Or you’re sure to be whacked across the head by a drunken Irish dude sick of hearing such stereotypical drivel. Remember, just because they’re usually real cute, Irish folk can sense racism too, you know.

(06) Enjoy Irish Whiskey… in a can

Founded just three years ago, Two Stacks is a whiskey brand inspired by the traditions of old blending and contemporary packaging. The company has created a world first – Dram in a Can, packing their award-winning Irish whiskey in an easy-to-carry, very cute can. The blend itself consists of grain, malt and pot-still whiskey and features subtle hints of stone fruit like apricot and nectarine. Now, while I don’t drink a lot of whiskey myself, I will say Two Stacks provide a nice, strong drop here and – at 43% alcohol volume – just a couple of these little cans will have you feeling nice and fuzzy inside. Perfect for Paddy’s Day, then. Available from quality liquor outlets like Dan Murphy’s at RRP $47.99 for four x 100ml cans.

(07) Go see a St. Patrick’s Day Parade

The parade may not be as big as Mardi Gras but the shenanigans are sure to be just as wild (see what we did there; we used an Irish word!). For information of what, where and when visit an appropriate site in your state: perthisok.com, sydneystpatricksday.com, www.brisbaneirishfestival.com, or www.onlymelbourne.com.au/st-patricks-day-melbourne.

(08) Wear something green (but tasteful)

You see, you don’t have to don a humongous green hat on your head that makes you look like an over-sized leprechaun. Instead, you might opt for something subtle and tasteful, like a shamrock pin on your collar!

(09) Or if you live near a pub and don’t wish to get into the shenanigans…

Buy some ear plugs! Li’l green ones preferably. Here we go, here we go, here we go…

Antonino Tati