Breaking up is hard to do: Handy advice on how to get over a relationship breakdown

When a relationship breaks down, it can feel like a person’s entire world has shifted in an instant. Whether the relationship was long-term or something newer, the emotions that surface, including sadness, confusion, anger, shock, or even relief, can be intense and simply be too much. Relationships can fall apart for many reasons. It might be that communication slowly weakens, trust is damaged, personal goals change, or the two people simply stop feeling the same way. 

These causes might seem simple when listed out, but when a person is living through them, they feel anything but that. Rather than just dealing with a situation, it’s handling the loss of something cared about deeply, and that comes with real pain. While some private pleasure might be enjoyed alone, discovering the joys of clit suckers, there needs to be some form of action to repair emotional damage.

Those who try to force themselves to be fine usually make things worse. Healing starts by acknowledging one’s emotions, rather than running away and hiding from them. If a person feels sad, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if feeling frustrated or confused, as that’s okay too. Bottling these emotions up tends to make them build until they’re harder to manage. Writing down thoughts and emotions can help to sort through complications and confusion, as can talking to a trusted friend or relative. Pinpointing feelings, even privately, is the first step toward releasing them.

It’s incredibly difficult to heal when still constantly reminded of the person. Taking a step away isn’t a sign of being rude. It just gives the mind the space needed to recover, which is vitally important in such situations. It might mean muting a former partner’s social media posts for a while, not reopening old messages, or setting limits on how much time is put aside to think about them each day. This space lets emotions settle instead of being stirred up every time a reminder of someone or something special appears and pulls a person suffering back into the past.

Sometimes, a short break away with minimal contact with the outside world might help.

That said, breakups can make people want to withdraw, but isolation usually makes the pain heavier. It might be shame or beating oneself up, which naturally leads to wanting to disappear for a while. Often, it is better to reach out to friends, family members, or trusted adults. It’s not necessary to share every detail, as even just hanging out and having normal conversations can lift some of the emotional weight, gradually restoring confidence for those who have seen it take a massive hit. Being around people who care offers reminders that life is still full of meaningful connections, even if one of them has changed. 

Breakups inevitably disrupt a normal schedule, as meals get skipped, sleep gets messy, motivation drops, and even activities previously enjoyed feel different. Getting back into a routine helps the brain feel stable again, rather than leading to negativity when not really knowing what is going on, with simple things like waking up at the same time, eating regular meals, tidying a personal space, or planning the week, offering structure. Routines don’t always erase pain, but they create a sense of control, which makes healing smoother and less overwhelming.

Self-care is sometimes connected to booking a health spa or deciding to take up meditation, which are fine, but there are also other ways to look after oneself properly. Self-care can include consistently looking after yourself. That could mean going for short walks to clear your mind, drinking enough water, stretching, choosing foods that provide energy, or finding moments to rest.

Emotional pain affects the body as well as the mind, so taking care of physical health also supports mental health. It’s basically providing the energy needed to process everything more healthily, which will help the recovery process.

When someone has been in a relationship, even for a short time, parts of their life end up shaped around the person they are no longer with. After a breakup, they get the opportunity to reclaim their time and interests, which might have been previously neglected. There’s the chance to revisit things that were enjoyed in the past but haven’t been done in a while, such as drawing, music, sports, reading, gaming, or anything that might be creative. There’s an opening to try something new that has always been put off owing to time constraints. New hobbies give the mind something positive to focus on and help an individual to rebuild their identity outside the relationship.

It’s normal to look back on a broken relationship and try to understand what happened. Reflection becomes unhealthy when it turns into blame, guilt, or endless what-if scenarios. Instead, it is wise to focus on neutral questions and learn from any mistakes, so that they might be avoided in the future. 

Things like what a person learned about themselves during the relationship and how they handled the breakup can be turned into positives. They may wish to question the qualities that they want in any future relationship, which were previously neglected, leading to being alone. What boundaries are required, what communication habits worked well, and what didn’t, are other things to consider, helping with personal development and general improvements as a person.

The mind might replay old memories or imagine scenarios that didn’t happen, which, while not being uncommon, is still possible to set limits on. When thoughts start looping, it is advisable to gently take the brain elsewhere by listening to music, finding distractions through carrying out a small task, or practising grounding techniques like focusing on everyday surroundings. Rather than trying to erase memories, it’s a smart way of keeping them from taking over an entire day. Over time, redirecting thoughts becomes easier and more natural, leading to a healthier and more positive mindset.

A breakup can make some people try something completely new to them to feel better. However, knee-jerk activities and moving on too quickly don’t usually give anyone enough time to heal or understand what they want next. Instead, it makes sense to focus on improving a relationship with oneself and learn to love and appreciate personal achievements. When feeling stable, confident, and genuinely ready, future relationships, for those who choose to have them, will be healthier and less influenced by past hurt, meaning a greater chance of them being happy and successful.

Some days will inevitably feel okay, while the next day might be upsetting again for no clear reason following a breakup. That’s normal, as healing doesn’t run in a straight line. It’s harsh and unlikely to happen that anyone will simply get over something so emotionally damaging. It’s important to allow the process to unfold at its own pace by celebrating small improvements, like going a day without feeling overwhelmed or enjoying an activity again. Progress is still progress, even if it’s slow, with every step forward meaning that the heart is learning how to move on.

A relationship breakup hurts and can take time to get over, but it is possible to do so through self-care, often leading to a more positive outlook at the other end.