The internet is revving up for the ‘Danceteria Afterhours’ collab between Madonna and Charli XCX: sure, everybody here is a work of art, but will the song be?
Madonna is about to drop another collaboration of a song remixed from her ‘Confessions II’ album – this time it’s ‘Danceteria’ which will feature Charli XCX in an ‘Afterhours Mix’. Cream’s Antonino Tati worries that two Leos in the room might outshine the actual record itself…
As a music journalist I find my relationship with pop music is as tumultuous and unpredictable as the medium itself. One minute I’m all in for a particular Taylor Swift era, the next I’m dissing the woman for the overexposure on social media and stranglehold her records have on the charts. One moment I’m ‘getting’ what Charli XCX’s brattiness is all about, the next I figure she’s gone too far with all the crashing of cars into bridges and OTT sexual expression. My good sometimes. My bad other times.
But I always come back to pop to roost, restoring my faith in it as a medium that can inspire contemporary culture and future generations for the better; always hoping that the gals on top continue to do good things for the ’cause’ – whatever that may be at any given moment in time (read: equal rights, body positivity, queer visibility, etc). I even manage to find a certain raison d’être in the extreme cases of sexual expression, be it Nicki Minaj’s tackling of a huge anaconda, or Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion boasting about their WAPs.
What I’ve come to realise is that sex-positivity – the celebration of sexual autonomy and confidence – comes in many forms and can be viewed and expressed in any way an artist sees fit. Freedom of expression, after all, is what art is all about.
As a feminist guy of sorts (I sincerely started Cream magazine on the premise that women would want more out of their reading than to learn about the season’s latest lipsticks), I often find myself having to take a step back from my pop philosophising to consider, “Who died and made me Camille Paglia?”. While I have the right to wax liberally on the necessity of queer visibility in popular culture – being a gay man who has certainly lived through the eras – I’m not too sure if I should be commenting so much on what the female of the species is doing in the name of progress and the reclaiming of agency. There are certain things women go through in life that I cannot pretend to be empathic with. Even my hot flushes at 50-plus years are more to do with bad air conditioning than the awful experience women actually go through during menopause. (Careful, Charli, it will come). All I know is that a woman gave me birth, a woman gave you birth, and that to me holds a definite power over anything us meagre men have done throughout history. Inventing atom bombs, building skyscrapers, and sending rockets to the moon – pfffft! Being able to create and shape a life – now that’s a true superpower.
So, I’m gradually realising, so what if Sabrina Carpenter appears to send the hard work of feminists back a few decades by crouching on all fours for the cover of an album (presumably to give in to the whims of some John). I’m sure she’ll bounce back with smarts and see the feminist cause flinging back on track like the big rubber band that it is. The pendulum will always swing, and I should put more trust in today’s pop darlings that they know when the time is right to fling it this way or that.
Two such women who keep pushing that pendulum are pop queen Madonna, and culture shaker-upper Charli XCX. Now the pair will present a remix of one of Madonna’s new songs, Danceteria. A new song, yes, but old in subject matter since it’s a tribute to the nightclub that gave Madonna her first break – with main DJ at the time, Mark Kamin (quickly becoming Madonna’s boyfriend), being the first guy ever to play one of her songs in public, way back in 1982. I was still in early high school then, and had no idea what the deal was with club culture. Charli XCX was just a glint in her daddy’s eye.
While the collaboration between Madonna and Charli will surely come across as two powerful pop stars expressing the freedom to just be, let’s not forget this is as much about remaining relevant and selling shitloads of streams as it is about individuals feeling like ‘works of art’.
And while there’s sure to be lots of leg spreading, crotch touching, drug referencing and all-round decadence in the new mix of the song and its accompanying video, remember it’s pretty much just a party these two women are having here – nobody is curing cancer, or AIDS, for that matter – which was a prominent downer that was just starting to permeate the club scene just as Madonna’s career was taking off in the early ’80s.
Let’s also remember that this is as much about remaining relevant in the cultural realm as it is about pushing streams, allowance of artistic expression, or just having a good ol’ time on the dance floor. And it ought to be clear that both artists crave that certain relevancy.
As a limelight-loving Leo, it’s no surprise Madonna insists on keeping up with the cool kids: pairing up for a pash with the hottest young thing at any given time; featuring on a single by the latest best-selling artist, or having them feature on one of her songs. Positioning herself on par with (oh, who are we kidding, placing herself above) these younger artists sees to it that she remains relevant in the eyes and minds of the newer generation. It keeps her contemporary credibility intact, and might even ease the impression her own children have about her (every mother wants to look cool in their kids’ eyes, and if your Mom is doing a duet with Charli XCX (also a limelight-loving Leo), come on, that’s pretty cool (and gosh do I feel like a dag having used the word cool three times just then).
Charli’s craving for relevance is just as present here. While she doesn’t need to chase after Likes and followers on her Instagram and TikTok accounts, there certainly exists a desire on her behalf to be taken seriously as an artist. She hints at this a lot on her latest album, with songs like Rock Music and SS26 seeing her pondering the pleasures of pop artistry versus the preposterousness of it all. Indeed the album closes with one side of a conversation she’s had with film director David Cronenberg, who regrettably has to keep reminding her that “no one last forever” in reference to artistic mortality. I beg to differ with Cronenberg. The great artists will last forever – even with the intervention and interruption of Ai. From Giotto to Da Vinci, Dalí to Edades, The Beatles to Bowie, and Chaplin to Hitchcock, there are certain names that will forever remain legitimate and legendary. As for Cronenberg and Charli’s own works, well, we’ll watch these evolve and let future generations make up their own minds.
But I digress. Back to the more important subject at hand: this collaboration between Madonna and Charli. Will it be a hit? Absolutely. Will it remain in the annals of culture to be dissected by media students 20, 30 years from now? Lol, as the kids might still say, or at least the bots that have replaced any form of opinion by then.
The problem lies in the artists’ intent – and that is both artists’ intent, or lack thereof. While the duo might just manage to fool the general public into thinking this is all about post-feminist empowerment or individual agency, sadly the many references to decadent partying, drug-taking, and overt sexuality pretty much see its pertinence dwindle down to inanity. Cutting to the chase, Madonna’s intent is (and may possibly always be) to remain relevant; while Charli’s immediate intent is validation via celebrity connection (done a duet with Madonna, check; that’ll be one to show off to the grandkids and I had Scorcese, Jacobs and Cale all on my record cover). But considering the two key subjects of Danceteria – sexual expression through dance, and decadence in drug-taking – there doesn’t appear to be any genuine intent here. Madonna doesn’t really like to do drugs and she would prefer her enlightenment to come from more natural means, while Charli isn’t really into having her sex all over the place, unless she’s enjoying extra-curricular activity outside of her current commitment (she’s married to George Daniel of alt-rock band The 1975) or joking about her sexcapades through song (“Maybe I fucked your dad,” she kids on clever recent single, Wink Wink).
The coming together of two pop powerhouses, yes, of course that’s a smart move, but save us all the hype and drivel and just call it what it is – a good time. Ellie Goulding once said to me, on the subject of collaborations and covers, “The music industry has changed. I can’t imagine singers back in the day covering [and featuring on] each other’s songs so much; it was more about rivalry then. Everyone was fightin’ to be the best. Now it’s like camaraderie almost – everyone covers each other and it’s like complimenting one other.” Kind of true.
Still, I can’t help thinking that on occasion a sudden pairing of two artists is not necessarily good for all parties concerned – including the listening party. Something tells me, for example, that Madonna’s quickly-stitched ‘duet’ with Sam Smith, Vulgar, was less a necessary expression of the supposed beauty of bastardisation, and more a cunning critique from the queen of pop to the ratty upstart – wise words from an artist who’s been around the block, to one who simply likes to wear threadbare nighties to bed and wants the whole world to know of his particular kink. Again, a song so silly in its lyrical delivery and so tacky in its quickly-stitched production, it’s already fallen out of music listeners’ minds. That can be said about a lot of the songs on Madonna’s latest album. Try to think of a couple of lyrics, even a riff, that appears on Confessions On A Dance Floor II. Difficult, isn’t it? But mention the first Madonna album, or Like A Virgin after it, or even the relatively disastrous American Life, and you’re sure to come up with a song title, lyric and memorable melody.
So, Danceteria will still be a big hit. As big as modern music allows it to be – streamed in the millions for the first few days then suddenly disappearing down the drain of obscurity along with all the looped-to-death and Autotuned idiocies that came before it and will surely follow. Madonna will hold on to her mantle of Queen of Pop. Charli will move more toward aiming for credible recognition. And their shared record company – Warner Music – will have to hope this collaboration was really worth the Zooming hassle in the end. Oh, who am I kidding? Remixes cost them record companies next to nothing. Of course it’s no hassle. Lots of hustle, yes. But definitely no hassle.
‘Danceteria Afterhours’ is out September 24.
THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT TO SEE A LOT OF IN THE VIDEO CLIP FOR ‘DANCETERIA AFTERHOURS’
Lots of red, vivid vivid, fire-engine lipstick red, and closeups of pouty lips.
Lots of crotch-grabbing, or if this has been done to death, lots of boob cupping.
Lots of flashing lyrics – torn, like Love Sensation before it, between being a lyric video and an actual music video proper.
Lots of strobe-y, disco-y, dancefloor-y like effects.
Madonna somehow overshadowing Charli by the end of the clip.
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