Somebody’s going to get into a lot of trouble… or make lots of money from piggy-backing off a record-breaking film franchise.
Introducing ‘The Indulgers’, a collection of sex toys inspired by The Avengers and released just in time while hype is high for the new Avengers movie, Endgame.
Speaking of ‘end’ games, one of the hero toys in the collection is the ‘Incredible Dong’ (RRP $99.00), described on Geeky Sex Toys’ website as having had “too much exposure to silicone [resulting] in a brilliantly green dildo with an insertable length of 8.5″ and a girthy circumference of 7.8”. Heck, not even Bruce Banner ought to be able to handle that thing.
But the golden gong has got to go to ‘Infinity Fist’ whose synopsis reads: “Unfortunately this Infinity Fist won’t give you omnipotence and omniscience [but] it will give you one hell of an orgasm…”
Then there’s ‘Captain Anal: The First Indulger’ (RRP $60.00), defined as “a patriotic anal toy [that] underwent a super-secret operation which transformed it from a boring old silicone plug into a super-awesome anal indulger!”
Yes, there are more exclamation marks on this website than a 1950s comic book.
But the golden gong has got to go to ‘Infinity Fist’ (RRP $99.00) whose synopsis reads: “If you think you possess the superhuman physiology of all Eternals then you’ll stop at nothing to own this incredible toy. Unfortunately this Infinity Fist won’t give you omnipotence and omniscience [but] it will give you one hell of an orgasm!” (That exclamation mark again).
Available in all shapes and sizes, from a dildo fashioned to look like Thor’s hammer to the scarily-dubbed ‘HawkAss Arrow Dildo’, these sex toys are sure to give that everyday pink silicone number a run for its double-A batteries.
And if you think these superhero-inspired toys are over-the-top, wait till you see what Geeky Sex Toys have done under the influence of Disney and Star Wars.
Available at www.geekysextoys.com.