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Kanye West outlines his messy presidential platform; insists he’s against abortion and vaccines

Things are starting to get serious. After announcing on Twitter over the weekend that he would be running for president of the USA, Kanye West has already outlined his prospective presidential platform – and it’s a doozy of a shitfest.

Amongst his policies, West says he will be fighting against abortion and vaccines. On the subject of vaccinations, for example, West says, “So many of our children are being vaccinated and paralyzed”, and called vaccines “the mark of the beast”.

West went on to say, “They want to put chips inside of us, they want to do all kinds of things, to make it where we can’t cross the gates of heaven.”

The rap star said he would be running as an independent candidate in this year’s election, or as a Republican – but in a race not involving Donald Trump. He added he would run under a new banner, ‘The Birthday Party’, with guidance by billionaire West-believer Elon Musk and a little-known running mate Michelle Tidball (she is a preacher from Wyoming).

When asked by Forbes magazine whether he still supports Donald Trump, West said he has lost confidence in the president mainly after the Black Lives Matter protests. As for Trump’s competition – Democrat Joe Biden, West simply said, “Like, come on man, please. You know?”

To claims that he is dividing black voters who would otherwise be voting Democrat, West said “it is a form of racism and white supremacy and white control to say that all black people need to be Democrat and to assume that me running is me splitting the vote.”

And when asked how we could tackle the Covid-19 pandemic, West suggested we “stop doing things that make God mad”.

With such eloquent articulation, it’s no doubt Kanye will do wonders in the world of politics. Or at least be providing us with plenty of memes to take the absolute piss out of.

Antonino Tati


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