Somebody in Kelloggs’ marketing department ought to be fired for having no idea about how to properly conduct research.
The brand has released a new waffle range for its US and UK markets which include pink, purple and blue waffles, each tagged with cutesy names. Pink, for example, is called the ‘Unicorn Cotton Candy Waffle’, while blue is a ‘Mermaid Blue Raspberry Waffle’.
All good and well, especially since we’re used to foods being bastardised with fantasy character names (Lucky Charms, anyone?).
But it’s the blue waffle that’s a problem. A “waffle”, you see, is a slang term for a vagina, and a “blue waffle” in particular is slang for a vagina with a sexually transmitted infection. At least to internet trolls.
If you don’t believe us, check out the definition according to the trusted journal Medical News Today which states that a “blue waffle” is a “fictional sexually transmitted disease that is said only to affect females.”
‘Waffle’ is a slang term for vagina, and ‘blue’ refers to one of the imaginary symptoms of this fake condition of the female sex organ.
The term came about via a rumour on the internet. While no medical evidence proves it exists, it’s still a thing – at least according to online sources.
“According to online sources,” says Med News Today, blue waffle disease is a condition that can disfigure a person’s vulva and vaginal area and turn it blue. While there are many real and life-changing STDs, none of them turn the vulva blue.”
One individual wrote on Twitter: “Has nobody on the Kellogg’s team ever been on the internet?”
Another: “For the love of everything good, do not Google blue waffle.”
Still another figured Kellogg’s could do with some new breed among its old-school staff: “Does Kellogg’s not have a single millennial or was it one troll who was like ‘hey we should make a blue waffle!’ and no one knew better?”
Suffice to say, the product remains on US and UK shop shelves. Until it doesn’t.