Confectionary giant Nestlé has announced plans to rebrand its Allen’s ‘Pineapple’ Lollies due to overtones of the mascot being “out of step” with current values.

Marketing manager for the brand, Roger Wallett, said the sunglasses-wearing pineapple icon on the product’s packaging looked too “middle-class bogan” and that it was insulting to a large contingency of the product’s customer base.

“The pineapple character looks a lot like a FIFO with a bad tan coming home from his first mad trip to Bali,” said Mr Wallett.

In a statement, Nestlé said the decision was made to ensure “nothing we do marginalises our friends, neighbours and colleagues, not even the middle-class ones”.

Nestlé added: “These names have overtones which are out of step with Nestlé’s values, which are rooted in respect. Respect for our Native American friends – which is why we have dropped the name ‘Red Skins’. Respect to our Mexican friends (ditto, Chicos). And respect now for the average Aussie battler who’s been terribly hard-done-by of late.”

The company said it has yet to finalise the product’s new name, but hints it will be something in the form of a sad white man in a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops.

One Twitter writer wrote: “Pineapples Lives Matter” which has subsequently been shared some 200,000 times.

The product name change follows a slew of similar decisions made by companies and big brands amid the Black Lives Matter movement.

Other brands that have dropped their classic monikers include Aunt Jemima’s, Eskimo Pie, and Bob’s Your Uncle.

Laura Whatalodov

Note: It wouldn’t surprise us if the above story were true; alas Pineapple Man is alive and well on the packaging of Allen’s Pineapple Lollies. Strangely, some Red Skins and Chicos are also still available in shops, despite the hype of their names being changed…