The legacy of Melania Trump (well, alright then, the complete lack of it)

By creammagazine, January 2, 2021

With Donald Trump set to be ushered out of the White House on January 20, wife Melania won’t be far behind, carrying her own set of baggage. Or perhaps she’ll be real far behind, if rumours of a pending divorce from the delusional dickwad turn out to be true.

Whatever her future plans (a tell-all book is on the cards), Melania’s days in the White House are now clearly numbered.

Unlike most First Ladies before her, Melania won’t be leaving behind much of a legacy. Rather, her CV under FLOTUS looks tacky and tattered.

As the hashtag #WorstFlotusEver begins to take off on Twitter, Cream presents 11 dumb things Melania Trump has done during her husband’s plagued tenure as president.

 

01. Plagiarising the speech of a former First Lady.

In her presentation to the Republican National Convention in 2016, Melania’s speech was eerily similar to that of Michelle Obama’s eight years prior. Indeed, the signs were immediately evident that the new First Lady would be taking a half-arsed approach to her duties in the White House.

 

02. Hypocritically promoting an online anti-bullying campaign.

Melania decided in 2016 (in what must have been a dissonant state) to make anti-bullying her ‘thing’. The First Lady went on about the dangers of trolling while her husband behaved like the world’s biggest bully on Twitter. Three words: Pot. Kettle. Black.

 

03. That insensitive “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” jacket.

You remember the green one, with the white-painted wording. Melania wore the jacket that does not give a shit whilst visiting children who had been incarcerated under her husband’s family separation policy. The slogan was tone-deaf if not downright nonsensical; further reason for the Trump name to be aligned with absurdity and insensitivity.

 

04. The All-Red Christmas Tree Shit-Show.

When it comes to decorating the White House at Christmas-time, Melania has repeatedly been cursed. In 2018, she unveiled a fake forest of red-hued trees that combined looked like something out of a Stephen King novel. An absolute horror-show.

 

05. The Full-of-Fucks Tape Recording.

Saying horrible things on tape appears to be a very Trump thing. First there was Donald’s grab-them-by-the-pussy diatribe. Then there was Melania on tape, repeatedly swearing about the pressures of Christmas decorating. Her ‘fuck’-filled rant about decorating duties was a stark contrast to, say, Jackie Kennedy’s exuberance when it came to all things décor in the White House.

 

06. Her use of a body double… apparently.

Whether she can’t be bothered attending important events, or just thinks they aren’t important enough for her to actually, you know, attend, stories have circulated that Melania often sends doppelgangers in her place. Strange for someone who’d once go to the opening of an envelope.

 

07. Those scary-as-hell eyes.

They may once have been considered alluring in her modelling days, but as First Lady, possessing a pair or peepers that connote a cross between demonic possession and alien subjugation is not a good look. Why all the squinting? Why all the darting?

 

08. Regularly slapping her husband’s hand away at public events.

She did it when the Trumps were on holiday in Rome in 2017; during the National Anthem at the College Football Championship at the start of 2020; and at the final presidential debate later in the year. To have and to hold, indeed. But then you’d slap that pervert’s hand away, too, in public or private.

 

09. Her lack of tact in solemn times.

Showing off the White House’s new tennis pavilion while the coronavirus was running rife across the US, its citizens forced into lockdown, let alone could they consider a jolly game of tennis.

 

10. Her lack of originality and good taste.

We’re not sure if it’s an eastern-block-gone-suddenly-western thing but Melania may have the money and credit to throw around but she doesn’t exactly do it discerningly. “Common as muck” might be the best way to describe her taste, and that’s in fashion choices alone. While designers like Tom Ford and Marc Jacobs have refused to dress her, the former fashion model has opted for more domestically-themed brands including Calvin Klein and Michael Kors. Also, her regularly recycling looks of former first ladies appears to stem less from flattering tribute and more from lazy copying.

 

11. Being married to the world’s biggest douche-bag.

Enough said.