The official trailer for ‘Wonka’ has dropped – and it all looks really silly

Warner Bros. today released the official trailer for Wonka, the prequel to star Timothée Chalamet as eccentric chocolatier Willy Wonka from the Chocolate Factory books created by author Roald Dahl.

Dubbed as a ‘musical fantasy’, the film follows the adventures of a young Willy Wonka, including his initial inventions of innovative candies and his first encounters with the Oompa-Loompas who would go on to assist in running his chocolate factory.

Starring as one of the Oompa Loompas is a child-sized Hugh Grant who is sure to ruffle a few feathers in the ‘Why Didn’t They Hire An Actual Person Of Small Stature?’ department.

Also featuring in the film are Rowan Atkinson, Olivia Colman, Sally Hawkins, Matt Lucas, Jim Carter, Natasha Rothwell, Tom Davis, Rakhee Thakrar, Justin Edwards, Colin O’Brien, Ellie White, Freya Parker and Kobna Holdbrook-Smith. Mostly white chocolate, then, with a few dark favourites thrown in for politically correct measure.

In fact, the cast looks like three-quarters of England’s acting population, and we’re surprised they didn’t invite rolly-polly James Cordern to be a part of the syrupy ensemble.

While the trailer appears relatively harmless, there is a certain dissonance attached to the entire affair. To begin with, what will the scriptwriters do with Dahl’s more ‘delicate’ diction that may offend woke movie-goers?

Just last year, ‘offensive’ words such as ‘fat’, ‘crazy’ and ‘ugly’ were entirely removed from Dahl’s books. ‘Boys’ and ‘girls’ were replaced with the more generic ‘children’; ‘mothers’ and ‘fathers’ simply became ‘parents’; and the ‘Cloud- Men’ in James and the Giant Peach became ‘Cloud-People’ – all in a ridiculous effort to impart gender-neutrality and a supposed PC ethos. Even double chins were excised – which probably explains the lack of James Cordern in this movie.

The tone of the Wonka trailer is part Paddington (same producers), part Mary Poppins, part “flash mob” (as Dazed magazine puts it) and all “Cor blimey, officer, stop that odd-looking scallywag before he turns our quiet town into a busy, chocolatey mess.”

We see Timothée dancing on tabletops, an umbrella-wielding cast delivering Busby Berkeley-type numbers, and lots of common-looking folk defying the laws of gravity.

“To work on something that will have an uncynical young audience, that was just a big joy,” Chalamet told Vogue earlier this year, disregarding the fact parents will likely be accompanying their kids to the cinema. Chalamet went on to patronisingly state: “That’s why I was drawn to it. In a time and climate of intense political rhetoric, when there’s so much bad news all the time, this is hopefully going to be a piece of chocolate.”

Good Lord.

Wonka is slated for release on December 15 and with saccharine themes at its heart, the film is no doubt being served as the blockbuster to see this silly season. Obviously, the producers couldn’t wait ’til Easter to dish up their sugary excess.

Lisa Andrews & Antonino Tati

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