Two blokes walk into a bar to grab a drink and shoot the breeze. One is Ed Sheeran; the other is Justin Bieber … Who the fuck are we kidding? Could you imagine these two walking into a bar and actually enjoying anything together that’s not music biz related? They’d be lucky to spend ten minutes tops genuinely chatting in the green room backstage at some international talk show without a PR rep with a clipboard standing nearby. Okay, so they’re reportedly ‘good’ friends. Still, we’re not buying the bromance bit.
Yet somehow, somehow – via the powers of cunning public relations, and a little Photoshopping – here’s Juzzie and Eddie dressed in camp Hawaiian shirts, the two of them clasping hands, with Bieber’s cock practically up Sheeran’s arse.
News on the music front is that Sheeran and Bieber have cut a record together. The single is called I Don’t Care and it seems, judging by the slapped-together pic above, the two of the them really couldn’t give a rat’s if it sells or not. But you know it will sell. Fuck-loads. Because that’s what two of the world’s biggest music sellers come together to do.
With those Hawaiian shirts burning holes in our retinas, we can only guess there’ll be a lot of acoustic strumming going on, but what we really want to know is will they be singing into each other’s eyes in the VEVO music video?
According to their record companies, the photograph above was actually a combination of two separate pics the pair posed for, with Sheeran taking to Instagram to caption the combined image as a “Photoshop spoon”. Because God forbid they actually did hold hands and dry-humped in real life, right?
Not much has been given away about what the finished song will sound like but it is being released through Sheeran’s label, Atlantic, while Sheeran is getting top billing (feel free to insert ‘top and bottom’ joke here).
With those Hawaiian shirts burning holes in our retinas, we can only guess there’ll be a lot of acoustic strumming going on.
But what we really want to know is will they be singing into each other’s eyes in the VEVO music video?
Lisa Andrews & Antonino Tati
‘I Don’t Care’ is set for release this Friday 10th May, 2019.
* Editor’s note: The term ‘gay’ in the title of this article is used purely in the context of the Urban Dictionary definition of ‘gay‘.